Welcome to Cumae, home of Bitter Prophet Industries

My name is Elizabeth, and I am a neurotic housewife. This journal is somewhat less interesting than the average, since I don't enjoy having fun, but the spelling is likely to be better.

My old LiveJournal, defunct: psychodyke42
My DeadJournal, also defunct: beware (the lazarus joint)
My website, in dire need of updating: the sibyl of cumae

If you'd like to add me to your friends list, you should know two things:

1) I often miss being added until well after my new friend gets impatient and defriends me, and
2) I also frequently manage to add someone to my friends list but not to the proper viewing filter.

Therefore, if I don't add you back or comment on your journal, don't take it personally, because it may well be that I am a moron.
  • Current Music
    Silverchair, "Tomorrow"

(no subject)

Why isn't there a 24-hour upholstery supply store? I have a chair opened up and I am OUT of WEBBING. No one else has upholstery emergencies at 11 PM?

Also, why does the chair's cushion have springs in it? Not familiar with this.

On the importance of timing

Announcer, Arizona-Oregon game: "Now the question we've been asking this past week is, would you put the ball in the air against Oregon's secondary?"

Arizona: *puts ball in air*
Oregon's secondary: *catches ball*
Referees: *sigh, signal touchdown again*

No. No, I wouldn't.

In related news, Central Michigan beat Iowa, Western Michigan beat University of Connecticut, and Eastern Michigan lost to Michigan State but held a 7-3 lead until the third quarter. None of these things are even remotely supposed to happen, and the fact that they are does not mean that the Directional Michigans are suddenly good. It means that this season is freaking weird and a bunch of top-tier teams are circling the drain. Anyone familiar with the BCS will understand why this fills me with an unholy glee; for those who don't, all you need to know is that a bunch of morons who run things based entirely on their stupid biases are having all their little plans stomped on by underdogs whose only advantage is that of mediocrity over outright awfulness. There's probably a historical or fictional analogy for this, but I can't think of one at the moment; history doesn't stick in my memory and fiction prefers livelier narratives.

To close this meditation on sportsball, SportsCenter presents me with a question: what is "Melky" short for? I don't want to look it up because I hope it's Melchior and I'm pretty sure it's not.

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Why is it that people playing their music too loudly never like the kind of music I do?

I mean, surely there are some people out there who share my musical taste and are also inconsiderate assholes. Yes, besides me.

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I tore down my garage. Yes, I, as in me, alone.

Pics later. It's not done yet. Gonna need someone to haul away the roof and remove the slab. The rest is in a dumpster but the roof has defeated me. The timbers are in surprisingly good condition compared to the rest and tearing off shingles is horrible, plus the dumpster is full.

Everyone so far has basically told me that the garage represented a health and safety hazard such that the government would not finance a mortgage on the property, which between FHA and VA loans would probably represent 75% of our potential buyers. Everyone also told me to call someone in to knock it over but I needed demolition therapy in the worst possible way.

The potential buyers point is moot since we're probably going to lease the place, but potential renters would not want that wreck either.

Letting loose my inner troll

Back in 2008, I gave some money to Barack Obama. I know, dumb me, right? But someone of my acquaintance gave money to Ron Paul -- I didn't object to that, exactly, but I felt I needed to counteract it.

I unsubscribed from all the Obama mailing lists a long time ago, or so I thought. Today, for the first time in years, I received an email from the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee:

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Now, I wasn't much fazed by this -- I had some trollish thoughts, but mainly I thought oh, I got myself on a mailing list and forgot to unsubscribe, let me go do that. So I went and clicked the unsubscribe link.

And this is what I got:

Republican SuperPACs and right-wing media pundits are out to defeat President Obama and Democrats nationwide.

We need you with us.

However, if you’d only like to receive our most urgent messages (about one e-mail per month), you can enter your e-mail address here:



Your "unsubscribe" link is more like a "unsubscribe EXCEPT WHEN WE FEEL LIKE DOING EMAILS" link?

Oh. It. Is. ON.

Dear Jennifer,

As an advocate of violence against women, I'm afraid I can't support your movement. We should all be destroyed; the criminalization of abortion and the legalization of violence against women, though not nearly enough, will go a long way toward achieving that goal.

By the way, if I click a link that says "unsubscribe," I should not be taken to a page that tells me I can opt for one email a month. This does not make me feel any more kindly toward my sex.

Love and kisses,

(no subject)

Hey, does anyone know what it costs to have a rug cleaned? I have like two 8x10, two 10x12, maybe one 6x8 and two runners. I can't find local prices online, possibly because I am dumb.

My idea is to get all our rugs cleaned because a) they are dirty but more importantly b) when you get rugs cleaned, they roll them up in nice plastic that is good for moving. So I will probably do this anyway regardless, but I'd like some kind of cost information.

(no subject)

Over the past few weeks, I've condensed our filing cabinets from three drawers to one and a half -- one drawer of various old papers and one small tote of essentials, which I'll be taking in the car when we move. I closed out our safe deposit box. Using this guide, I've been able to get rid of a ton of financial documents, which I'll shred tomorrow. I've put together a folder of manuals and warranties for the house and its appliances that I can leave here.

Someone from the property management company is coming tomorrow to look over the place. I'm also going tomorrow to talk to the city (I didn't have the car today) about what exactly I need for the garage demolition. I had the property inspected when we bought it in 2007, and they didn't see any hazardous materials or other issues at that time, but I have a sinking suspicion that won't be enough. It'd be nice to be able to have my parents help when they come this weekend, but I can probably kill the thing on my own (aside from the slab) and there's plenty for them to do anyway. We need so much mulch.

I found one of the books my father-in-law wanted, and some loose pages he wanted from another, but the third is either buried beyond retrieval... or he might have it. I swear to God I just packed up French history the other day but I can't find it for the life of me, or rather I don't want to because I'm tired and it's hot.

It's hot? It's like 80, what the fuck. I love it. Went to the store today in shorts and a tank top. People who shave their legs are really missing out on one of life's great pleasures: the wind in your leg hair on the first day of shorts.

Finally: did you know that Habitat for Humanity does free computer recycling at their ReStore locations? Holy shit. I've always loved Habitat for its normal operations, but by God this is a lifesaver -- the county will only take one computer a year for free, the rest you have to pay for. I'm probably going to donate some money to them for just saving my ass with all this computer shit I have.